24 September, 2010

Life and Debt?

How would one live a life that is full of debt? Life becomes miserable if you stay in debt for your lifetime. There is no one in the world who would like to spend his or her lifetime in debt. A simpler life, a simple living and being contented of what you have may eliminate the word 'debt' in your vocabulary.

I have met and observed a lot of people who will do anything just to be noticed. tsk!
Why would you avail of a motorcycle that's been offered on a deferred payment when you know that your monthly paycheck is just a little higher than it's monthly dues? Why, because you saw your bestfriend roaming around with his brand new-shiny big bike?

Certainly, you have your own big bike. But, your expenses doesn't end in paying the monthly mortgage. What about the gasoline it will consume, the maintenance, the insurance and all? If you become hungry and short, can you eat your 'big bike'?

Why would you ask your boss if he/she could give you a one month advance if you will just spend it with your friends on your upcoming birthday? I know, it's because you want your buddies to see that you have a nice paying job.

Sure, you and your friends had fun. What if one of them believed that your boss was really that generous, and then that believer asked you, "We've been together in good times, my landlord wants me out for late payments?" Will you tell the truth that you are not expecting a paycheck this month because you wanted a fabulous birthday?

Just because your neighbor's son is studying in an expensive private school, why would you send yours to the same school though you know you can't afford it? How? Will you ask your relatives for financial support?

Say, your relatives declined your request for assisting you on your child's education, will you get mad on them and think they were so mean for not treating you as one of the family?


Jealousy, greed, discontenment...

these traits will make their lives miserable. They will keep looking on what's on the other side of the fence and will definitely do anything just to have the same. As long as they don't accept who they are and what they have, they will never achieve happiness.

23 September, 2010

There are Two Kinds of People, What Kind Are You?

There are two kinds of people - those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are!"

- those people who say "Here I am!" are the brave ones. They have the courage to face obstacles and difficulties in their lives. The brave will accept the consequences of their mistakes while the coward will try to hide even under their mother's skirt praying that they will never hear the words, "Ah, there you are!"

 Men are divided into two groups -- those who love and build; and those who hate and destroy.

- sometimes, people who belong in the first group may suddenly jump and join the second group. Some people will show genuine love and support to build a strong relationship. For me, these are the dangerous ones. Because once they see that their effort is taken for granted, the 'once' beloved might as well wish they never met each other. They will come back for you and destroy you.

People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, "Why wasn't it done the other way?"

-the lazy type. The people who just sit still and do nothing often get surprised of what the second type can do to them. The lazy's will become full of regrets.

There are two kinds of people: the givers and the takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.

- the quote is self-explanatory.

There are two kinds of people: Those who say "Thy will be done," and those who say, "All right, then, have it your way."

- The first kind are the helpless and useless human beings, and doesn't bother to value their lives. They will just accept what the second kind will do to them. 

There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who think they are sinners and the sinners who think they are righteous.

- the righteous who think they are sinners possess a kind heart, humility is natural to them. The sinners have the capacity to make things turn around. They might as well take up Law in college and become a Lawyer.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who make things complicated, and those who make things simple.

- a bit similar to the above quote. Sinners can make things complicated just to prove that they are righteous. The simple people need not to explain the difference of right and wrong.

We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.

- you want my number? XD

photos/quotes are consolidated from various sites

16 September, 2010

I Want Your Ice Cream

Banaue, Quezon City -- one of the busy places in the Philippines, the most populous area in the city. Hospitals, universities, government offices, restaurants, hotels.. it's all in there.

Last Tuesday, 14 September 2010, my daughter, accompanied by my mother, had a check-up in one of the hospitals (orthopedic) in Banaue. As they walk along the said busy street, my 16-year old daughter was holding a cup of ice cream. They were bound to the nearest bus stop to wait for their ride home. It was past 5 in the afternoon, start of the 'rush hours' of the day. Like them, there were other passengers waiting for the bus. Out of nowhere, a 'rugby boy' (a streetchild, addicted to solvents) hit my daughter's nape with a 1.5 liter plastic bottle. As she was shocked and in pain, a 3 year old boy grabbed her ice cream, then the two children run away. The incident happened so fast. My mother cried when she saw my daughter in pain holding her nape. She was crying because she was so worried, the beating might worsen my daughter's scoliosis.

No one cared to help them. A woman beside them just said "You're lucky those children didn't stab you. It's a usual scene here. Their parents are here, just around the corner and probably watched what their children have done to you. Go home."

I just learned this two days after the incident. I am so mad that I want to scream.. I want to cry. I can't imagine my daughter and my 60-year old mother, hurt and helpless in the middle of a busy crowd. There were no police in sight.

Nobody cares about others anymore?
Crimes such as this are normal these days?
Are the authorities really doing their job?
The citizens don't trust the police anymore that they don't care to file a police report for incidents like this?

Is it poverty that I should blame?
Or the location of the bus stop?
Or the out-of-post police?
Or my daughter?
Or my mother?

How about you? What can you say?

07 September, 2010

Girl Dies in Scare Prank

Just came accros on my FB with this "Girl Dies" in a Failed Scare Prank video. It was so disturbing, although, there was a viewer warning note in the video and was rated 18 and up. Out of curiosity, I researched online, twitter, other facebook pages, and so on.
Here's what I found. Click here.
And this one is the original video. Click here.
It already hit 4 million views in youtube.

If the infos I got were correct, it was just a re-enactment. It was a video used in a court-case. The blonde girl was sued by the parents of her roommate. The girl who died in the said video is actually alive and actively tweeting and promoting her page in Facebook.

Cindy Vela, a South Texas born, American actress, model and musician. Presently in California, USA. You can see her on the movie "Meet Joe Black", "Desdemona", and few others. For more info about her, click here.

The Father Relationship (REBELLION)


The "R" in FATHER stands for Rebellion.

Matthew 15:4 (TEV), says, "For God said, 'Honor your father and mother,' and 'Anyone who says bad things about his father or mother must be put to death.'"

At about age ten, children become strong enough in their ego to really be angry at their parents. Later, that anger may express itself very much when they leave home. That's why college kids oftentimes go wild. They're free from their parents, they're free from all restraints, and now the anger towards their parents begins to express itself in rebellion against authority. That the rebellion towards their parents can become a bitter root.

Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) says, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

We all go through some stage or degree of rebellion, What can happen is that we sometimes make inner vows. inner vows can be positive: "I will be kind to everybody I meet." This type of vow is good, but there are some negative vows like: "I will never cry again." "I will never love again." "I will never show emotions." "I will never be vulnerable again." "I will never communicate again." "I won't trust again." These vows are negative. The good news is that you can pray your own prayer and break your negative inner vows.

As people rebel against their parents, they make inner vows, or turn to what is called "performance orientation" -- "My parents do not respect me. I will make them respect me! I will be successful!" that thinking can lead to a person becoming workaholic. Some people are working themselves to death, trying to prove to others that they are lovable and command respect. They tend to be calculating and controlling.

Another behaviour that occurs in dependent families, or co-dependent families, is parental inversion,. That happened to a friend of mine whose mother was mentally disturbed. Her father worked on a railroad. At a very young age (10), she had to become the mother of the family. When the children become the "parents", they may lose trust in people, lose respect for authority, rebel, or harden their hearts. They cannot rest because they're always protecting and nurturing others. they're really looking for and needing nurturing themselves. They always are taking control of the situation -- never being able to rest, always worried about what is going to come up next. Thay have to take the place of their parents when they're too young. They didn't receive a mother's or father's love.

So, as we look at the word FATHER, we see that every man wears the face of his father. We see that the father is called to affirm, to communicate and to touch. We went to the parts of our house mentally where there was a trauma. We experienced masculinity through the life of our father.



The "E" in FATHER stands for the Experience of Masculinity.

 I Corinthians 11:1-2 says,
"Imitate me, then, just as I imitate Christ."

Can our fathers say that? Imitate me as I Imitate Christ? Can we say that?

"I praise you, because you always remember me and follow the teachings that I have handed on to you."

The way we learn how a man acts, what a man is, comes from absorbing the attitudes, the actions, and the way of life of our father. For those who have no man in the house, there must be a significant male role model in the life of your children because they learn masculinity from the way that man relates to them. Perhaps an uncle, grandfather, an elder, or some Godly man at church could provide that Godly masculine role model and masculine experience -- good or bad. Girls look to the praise of their father for their sense of femininity, for their sense of beauty, for their sense of autonomy. When that girl leaves home, she's going to expect her husband to act the same way her father acted towards her.

One of the difficulties in Catholic education is that children are taught one way in school and then they go home and see their fathers acting opposite. This creates tremendous confusion. That's why the churches have always maintained that the primary teachers of children are parents because the children absorb from the parents their way of life.

photo: dlibrary.acu.edu.au

The Father Relationship (HOME)


The "H" in FATHER stands for the Home.

A study done on prostitutes and runaway teenagers some years ago, found that the root causes were lack of father's love, broken promises, and bad examples of the father.

Very briefly, as we look at the "H" of FATHER, it stands for the home or the house.

I'd like for you to go through your house mentally and look at each room. What was the most painful thing that happened to you in each room with your father? Those are the areas you need prayer for.

As you go through your own home, look at what traumatic things happened to you there. Even if you lived in more than one place, you can remember back to any traumatic or unhappy times. Pray about it and seek healing.

photo: masterfile.com

The Father Relationship (TOUCH)


 The "T" in FATHER stands for Touch

...which is nonverbal communication. The most powerful communication is touch.

Ephesians 6:4 (TEV), says, Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction."

And the greatest instruction that parents can give their children is to pray with them.

Fr. Robert De Grandis, SSJ, author of Healing the Father Relationship, says that in his research, fewer than five percent of Catholics have had family prayer. This is often where touching, communicating, and sharing really take place. The lack of family prayer is more true in the present time because of working mothers. Every home needs family prayer. This is the role of the father, as well as the mother, is to communicate, nonverbally as well as verbally, and through touch.

A woman told Fr. De Grandis that she craved her father's love, attention, and affection, but he gave her none. When she turned twelve and began to mature at puberty, he just cut off from her totally. It is very common for a father to feel attracted to his daughter but then to cut her off from his masculine interaction. The father leaves the rasing of the daughter and children to the mother.

Father De Grandis added, in Italy, which has the reputation of being a place where people get a lot of love and affection, a 50-year old son entered a room, went over to his 70-year old father and kissed him. It was a sign of a healthy relationship. Psychologists say that a child, even a newborn, can sense the father's attitude toward the child by the way he holds it.

Sometimes, when the father does not have deep interaction with his daughter, the daughter may tend to become sexually active very early. Whereas, on the other hand, when the fathers do interact with a lot of hugging, touching, and kissing, the girls see affection as a part of family life, as a good thing, and a normal thing. They're used to it and they respect it.


photo: dreamstime.com

06 September, 2010

The Father Relationship (AFFIRMATION)


The "A" in FATHER stands for Affirmation.

The role of the father, among other things, is to affirm the person in the personhood, to let them know that they are lovable, that they are a person who commands respect. Psychologists tell us that, at about the age of ten, eleven or twelve, the child cuts away from the mother and begins to become autonomous. As the child goes out and steps away, seeking independence, he or she becomes insecure. At this time, the child especially needs the father's affirmation because the father is the source of wisdom and understanding in the family. In a child's eye, he is seen as the wise one, the powerful one, and so they look to him. If a child does not receive love and affirmation, at that time he or she become insecure and may go through life in a very insecure way. The child will have difficulty relating to men in general, and to Jesus and the Heavenly Father in particular. The role of the father is to affirm and encourage.

For example: A child brings home a report card on which one grade is an 85. The parent says, "That could be a 90! That should be a 95!" Now, the parent's intention is good, but what is communicated to the child is, "You've failed!" What the child feels is criticism. That tends to make a child insecure.

If you look at the truth, Jesus is constantly saying, "My Father loves you and I love you. You are good. You are beautiful." Most of us don't believe that. Deep in our heart we do not believe that. As so many people who say, "I know God loves me. I know Jesus loves me. But I don't 'feel' it." Begin to explore with them, their relationship with their own earthly father and generally, you will find that they didn't feel love from their earthly father.

photo: fathers.com

05 September, 2010

The Father Relationship (FACE)

The letter "F" in FATHER stands for Face, the face of your father.

Years ago, there was no such thing as formal sex education in schools. Sex education was taught at home, primarily by the way the father treated the mother, and the mother treated the father. The children absorbed those attitudes. If they were good attitudes, they had good sex education, and if they they were bad attitudes, then the children acquired negative feelings.

Every man wears the mask of his father. The son's idea of masculinity is based and built on his relationship with his father. In his inner self, he feels that every other man respond to him in the same manner as his father did.

Likewise, deep down within each woman, she may feel that every man will respond to her just as her father did. These feelings are deep within the subconscious, deep down in the psyche.

A woman shared that her father was uncommunicative and never home. This woman loves her husband but oftentimes finds herself yelling at him and unjustly coming against him. She didn't understand why until she began to "put two and two together" and realized that her unresolved conflicts with her father were being projected onto her husband.

Sometimes, you meet a woman whose father was an alcoholic and she said, "I will never have anything to do with an alcoholic." Yet, she will often marry an alcoholic. Lay people cannot understand why this happens, but psychologists would say that deep in her heart, her husband is the symbol of her father. She's trying to resolve the conflict in her father relationsip which was never resolved before.


 (photo: willowtreegifts.net)

The Father Relationship (I)

There is an "inner child" within each of us and the need for a father's love.

Fascinating studies states that, often, in a divorce where father wins custody of the children, the children's school grades immediately rise. You might think it would be just the opposite. Psychologists say because the children have such hunger for their father's attention, for their father's help, and for the father's nurturing, that when they get in this type of situation, they immediately improve.

Today, we're facing crisis in the father relationship. One of the main problems is that the father is away from the home so much of the time. The mother shows her love because she is present with the child, generally hugging, touching, kissing and making physical contact. The father is often absent.

For more than 40 years of ministry in healing, Fr. Robert DeGrandis, SSJ, was convinced that the most crucial inner healing concerns the father relationship.

Let's hook an idea into each one of the letters of the word F-A-T-H-E-R.

F - Face
A - Affirmation
T - Touch
H - Home
E - Experience of Masculinity
R - Rebellion

[continued... ]
(photo by: rosewelt.com)

03 September, 2010

Ms. Major-Major 2010

Maria Venus Bayonito Raj was born July 7, 1988 to an Indian father and a Filipina mother. Upon birth, she was taken by her mother to Bato, Camarines Sur in Bicol Region, Philippines and was registered as a Philippine-born child to Roman Catholic parents. She grew up with her mother, a tenant farmer and dressmaker.

Venus Raj lived in a nipa hut made of wood, bamboo and anahaw leaves with no electricity in the middle of a sprawling rice field in the rural town for more than twenty years. Youngest among five children, she started joining local beauty pageants at 17. With her victories in major contests, Venus Raj had started to buy land on installment basis for her mother as a means of improving their livelihood.

Raj obtained her Bachelor's Degree in Communications Arts, major in Journalism, at Bicol University in Albay, with Latin honours (Cum Laude). She graduated through the scholarship from Francis Papica Foundation. She worked as an Information Assistant for the Department of Environment and Natural Resources in Region V and as a part-time fashion model.


Miss Bicolandia 2007
Miss Philippines-Earth 2008 (4th runner-up)

Binibining Pilipinas-Universe, (dethronement and reinstatement)

In 2009, Raj joined the Binibining Pilipinas beauty pageant and made the 2010 batch of candidates and was eventually crowned Binibining Pilipinas Universe on March 06, 2010. She represented the Republic of the Philippines as a candidate for the Miss Universe 2010 beauty pageant.

A few weeks after her coronation, Raj was dethroned by the Binibining Pilipinas Charities, Inc., citing alleged inconsistencies between her birth certificate and the personal account of her birth. Raj was briefly replaced by second runner-up Helen Nicolette Henson since first runner-up Diane Elaine S. Necio was only 17 years old and did not meet the age requirement policies of Miss Universe. Raj's sudden dethronement caused a heavy uproar among her Filipino supporters. Some fans conducted online petitions, signature campaigns, Facebook fan pages, blogs, forums and petition letters to the Miss Universe Organisation to report the irregularities.

Raj had planned to take legal action to against Binibining Pilipinas Charities, Inc.'s decision in court, but she also weighed in on her decision because of its potential impact to her future career. Lawyer Francis Padua Papica, who sponsored Raj’s college education, and another counsel volunteered to defend her for free. Through Rafa Delfin, director of the website www.criticalbeauty.com, an appeal regarding Raj's case was sent to the Miss Universe Organisation regarding the issue.

A representative from Miss Universe Organisation looked into her case. In an interview, Raj said, “My fight is now more than just chasing a dream. It is about clearing my soiled reputation. It is about standing up for people who are poor and born out of wedlock. It is a fight for acceptance."

On April 10, 2010, the Binibining Pilipinas Charities, Inc. allowed Raj to reclaim her title due to humanitarian reasons. In May 19, 2010, the Philippines' Department of Foreign Affairs issued Raj a Philippine passport thereby attesting to her Filipino citizenship. According to the Department of Foreign Ministry, Raj is a Philippine citizen by virtue of the jus sanguinis principle (“right of blood”), a basic right provided by the Philippine Constitution which bestows upon a person the citizenship of his father or mother regardless of where the person was born, thus declaring her of Filipino citizenship.

Currently, Raj holds the record as the first-ever dethroned Binibining Pilipinas to have successfully attempted for a reinstatement of a Binibining Pilipinas crown.

Miss Universe 2010

In August 2010, Raj flew to the United States and took part in the 2010 Miss Universe pageant. As part of the six delegates which were handpicked for a media tour. Along with Ms. Australia, Ms. Colombia, Ms.  Haiti, Ms. Mexico, Ms. Puerto Rico and Miss Universe 2009 Stefania Fernandez were scheduled for several television appearances prior to the actual pageant in Las Vegas, Nevada. In an event held in Diablos Cantina at the Monte Carlo Resort and Casino, Raj won in a Chicken Wing Eating Contest, increasing her popularity even more during the run of the pageant.

During the Miss Universe question and answer portion, Raj was asked by American actor William Baldwin about the biggest mistake that she made in her life and what she did to make it right. She replied, "You know what, sir, in my 22 years of existence, I can say that there's nothing major major, I mean problem that I've done in my life because I'm very confident with my family, with the love that they are giving to me. So thank you so much that I'm here. Thank you, thank you so much!" Raj received the highest rating in the Miss Universe website, with 3.54 points, the highest-ever for a Filipina delegate.

While competing at Miss Universe 2010 in Las Vegas, Raj was emotionally distressed to hear about the death of Filipina-German beauty queen Melody Gersbach and make-up artist Alden Orense in a car accident. Gersbach, a fellow Bicolana who previously competed in Miss International 2009, was one of Raj's coaches in her preparation for the Miss Universe pageant.

source: (photo) chitchatchica.com, wikipedia.com

02 September, 2010

You Can't Please Everybody

You may be generally an amiable and pleasant person. You may generally get along well with most people. But somehow, there is that ONE family member, that ONE friend, that ONE colleague, who doesn't take you very well.

This might disappoint you, sadden you, or even disillusion you. Don't allow it to.

Every single person is unique. Every single relationship is different. Somewhere, somehow, there will be people who don't quite get along.

If you allow yourself to adjust your personal values to change the person that you are, just to win over that one person or few people, you run the risk of adversely affecting the good relationships you do have.

Be positive. Focus on your happy relationships. At the same time, accept that there will be ONES that don't go so well.

Whatever you say or do, whoever you are, whatever character or personality you have, you won't be able to please everyone.

source: www.allinspiration.com

Quotes for the Soul

Here are some of my favorite quotes originated from various famous people, friends, bloggers. Please share and enjoy.

- Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves

- Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

- One dog barks because it sees something; a hundred dogs bark because they heard the first dog bark.

- I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

- Until you make peace of who you are, you'll never be content of what you have.

- You can't please everyone and you can't make everyone like you.

- Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.

01 September, 2010

The Key to Success

Often, we have a passion to do something or be someone. We start coming up with a long list of excuses as to why we aren't ready to do 'it'. Things like -- "I don't have a website" or " I don't have business cards" or "I don't have room for an office" or "There's already enough of that in the market" are some common ones. This is just our mind playing games with us. Your soul speaks softly but persistently, while your mind tends to come accross as a stereotypical "used car salesman", listing all the reasons why 'not to buy' a particular goal or dream.

We set-up roadblocks for ourselves by trying to figure out or guess what everyone else's reactions are going to be to whatever it is we're wanting to do. You always have to start somewhere, and the best way to learn is from experience, out in the field.

Most importantly, we have to do the 'thing' for ourselves first. Whether its painting, blogging, acting or joggling, if you don't get any enjoyment out of it, no one else will, either. Whether you do, it has to be the kind of thing that you'd be willing even if you weren't getting paid for it.

Here's an example: Michael Jordan often said that if he wasn't getting paid to play professional basketball, he'd still be playing somewhere, anywhere, because he get so much enjoyment of it. He never started playing with the intention of "I'm going to be rich and famous from this." Rather, he did what he naturally felt inclined to do, and look what happens when you're in the flow of doing what you are here for -- magic happens.

source: jen and tommy