06 September, 2010

The Father Relationship (AFFIRMATION)


The "A" in FATHER stands for Affirmation.

The role of the father, among other things, is to affirm the person in the personhood, to let them know that they are lovable, that they are a person who commands respect. Psychologists tell us that, at about the age of ten, eleven or twelve, the child cuts away from the mother and begins to become autonomous. As the child goes out and steps away, seeking independence, he or she becomes insecure. At this time, the child especially needs the father's affirmation because the father is the source of wisdom and understanding in the family. In a child's eye, he is seen as the wise one, the powerful one, and so they look to him. If a child does not receive love and affirmation, at that time he or she become insecure and may go through life in a very insecure way. The child will have difficulty relating to men in general, and to Jesus and the Heavenly Father in particular. The role of the father is to affirm and encourage.

For example: A child brings home a report card on which one grade is an 85. The parent says, "That could be a 90! That should be a 95!" Now, the parent's intention is good, but what is communicated to the child is, "You've failed!" What the child feels is criticism. That tends to make a child insecure.

If you look at the truth, Jesus is constantly saying, "My Father loves you and I love you. You are good. You are beautiful." Most of us don't believe that. Deep in our heart we do not believe that. As so many people who say, "I know God loves me. I know Jesus loves me. But I don't 'feel' it." Begin to explore with them, their relationship with their own earthly father and generally, you will find that they didn't feel love from their earthly father.

photo: fathers.com

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