07 September, 2010

The Father Relationship (REBELLION)


The "R" in FATHER stands for Rebellion.

Matthew 15:4 (TEV), says, "For God said, 'Honor your father and mother,' and 'Anyone who says bad things about his father or mother must be put to death.'"

At about age ten, children become strong enough in their ego to really be angry at their parents. Later, that anger may express itself very much when they leave home. That's why college kids oftentimes go wild. They're free from their parents, they're free from all restraints, and now the anger towards their parents begins to express itself in rebellion against authority. That the rebellion towards their parents can become a bitter root.

Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) says, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

We all go through some stage or degree of rebellion, What can happen is that we sometimes make inner vows. inner vows can be positive: "I will be kind to everybody I meet." This type of vow is good, but there are some negative vows like: "I will never cry again." "I will never love again." "I will never show emotions." "I will never be vulnerable again." "I will never communicate again." "I won't trust again." These vows are negative. The good news is that you can pray your own prayer and break your negative inner vows.

As people rebel against their parents, they make inner vows, or turn to what is called "performance orientation" -- "My parents do not respect me. I will make them respect me! I will be successful!" that thinking can lead to a person becoming workaholic. Some people are working themselves to death, trying to prove to others that they are lovable and command respect. They tend to be calculating and controlling.

Another behaviour that occurs in dependent families, or co-dependent families, is parental inversion,. That happened to a friend of mine whose mother was mentally disturbed. Her father worked on a railroad. At a very young age (10), she had to become the mother of the family. When the children become the "parents", they may lose trust in people, lose respect for authority, rebel, or harden their hearts. They cannot rest because they're always protecting and nurturing others. they're really looking for and needing nurturing themselves. They always are taking control of the situation -- never being able to rest, always worried about what is going to come up next. Thay have to take the place of their parents when they're too young. They didn't receive a mother's or father's love.

So, as we look at the word FATHER, we see that every man wears the face of his father. We see that the father is called to affirm, to communicate and to touch. We went to the parts of our house mentally where there was a trauma. We experienced masculinity through the life of our father.

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